The Art of the Sensual Bedroom
Bedrooms shouldn't just be for sleeping in; they should be for so much more than that. Bedrooms should be for rest and recuperation; they should be a haven for our spiritual needs, a sanctuary for our physical and mental wellbeing - an inner sanctum of revival and re-energising. But they should also be much more than this.
Our bedrooms should serve us in so many other ways than simply being restful. They should inspire us to be creative and encourage us to be imaginative. They should be a safe place to explore ourselves and our partners; a private space to reconnect after a long working day and a personal place to let free our inner desires and live out our deepest fantasies.
Our bedrooms should be sensual, romantic... erotic. They should be exciting, motivating and stimulating. When we enter our bedrooms, we should feel a spark of energy - the same spark we feel when we look at our partner. We should enter that room and feel alive!
Our bedroom should tell the world within it, who we are; it should be insightful. It should tell the world within it what we like, what we love, what we do with our partner (if we have one), who we are as a couple - or as an individual. It should tell the inner viewer what we find romantic, what rouses us, what we find sexy and appealing. And yet, it should - above all - keep all of that secret to the world outside. Because our bedroom is the one room in the house that should be ours and ours alone - if that is what we choose. It should be safe from prying eyes and wholly for the seclusion of those who use it.
Our bedroom should be our heart and our soul. It should be discreet and confidential; holding within it, all of our hidden pleasures, so that only we truly know the extent of its purpose. It should give subtle hints of our lives beyond the sheets; letting only those privy to such information, know the value of meaning within the artwork on the walls and the scent within the perfume.
Only those you allow such information, should know the real reason you chose the colours on your walls, the fabrics on your bed, or the flowers in your vase. Everything we place into our bedroom should tell its own story; from the silk scarf, sensitively draped over the bed post, to the chair in the corner of the room, lit only by a little lamp on the table beside it - elaborately dressed in lace and dripping unapologetically in beads.
Of course, I'm not saying your bedroom has no soul if you simply decorated it with the colours you like and the materials that please you; I am speaking, in particular, to those of you who want your bedrooms to be sensual spaces, where romance can simmer into lustful evenings and nights of passionate coupling.
Ultimately, our bedroom should make us happy; we should smile as we walk into it; feel called over the threshold by our beautiful bed and feel the desire to climb into the sheets when we look upon its comfort. We should feel both rested and awoken, both motivated and relaxed; we should be both inspired to create and to do nothing at all - whenever the mood takes us and however our bodies intend. Our bedroom - whatever we wish to use it for and however we want it to serve us, should complete these tasks with ease and fortitude; without shame, or uncertainty.
Our bedrooms should be us - and we should be ourselves without apology.
Erotica & The Senses
In order to allow ourselves to truly enjoy our sexual sides, we must engage all of our senses to pleasure and open ourselves up to the myriad of feelings and emotions we can experience with the person we trust.
Sight, sound, scent, touch and taste are all equally important in allowing ourselves to delight in the wonder of sensuality and in the art of erotica. Our bedrooms need to be designed and decorated in a way that engages all of our senses. From the moment we enter the room, until we go to sleep, our sensual bedrooms should take us on a journey of exploration of desire - filling our bodies and minds with comfort, warmth and incomparable rapture.
Let me take you on a journey of a sensual bedroom from my point of view. The details can be easily switched to suit your gender, or sexual orientation. Just use your imagination to make it fit for you. This bedroom only exists in this blog, but it can also exist in your imagination; it can be any colour you desire, and be made up of anything you wish to be within it. But if you'd love a real sensual bedroom of your own, you know where to find me. I'd be more than happy to help you achieve it.
The Sensual Bedroom
The bedroom itself is large and square; you enter at the foot of the bed and in the top, right hand corner is a door to the en-suite. The en-suite features the usual furniture: a pair of marble sinks as you walk in, each with their own ornate gold mirror and sitting atop a beautiful antique cabinet. There is a stand-alone bath directly opposite the door and another, much larger mirror above it, where an elaborate chandelier reflects from in front of it. A large shower cubicle sits to the right and the loo is to the right of the door. The bathroom is lit with candles, sitting elegantly behind the bath and around the room.
Your partner has been taking a bath and as you enter the welcoming atmosphere of the bedroom, dimly lit with lamps and candle light, you are immediately warmed by the steam from the bathroom and the cosy ambience of the room. You can't help but notice the beautiful scents that surround you; at first, a musky floral smell from the candles you are burning, before your nose picks up the soft, fading scent of soap and the stronger, masculine fragrance of your partner's cologne. It pleases you; and you feel yourself tingle with excitement. His scent always does that.
As you look at your bed, you feel comforted; the beauty of its fluffy duvet, layered fabrics, plump pillows and plush cushions make you want to dive in, so you can feel it embrace you and soothe you into a wonderful sleep. But not yet! You have a date to attend first!
In the bedroom, you hear music playing; some of your favourite sounds fill the room. Soothing to your soul, yet electrifying to your senses, you can feel the melody running through your veins, like a surge of energy - pulsating right into your core. The sights, the smells, the sounds - they entice you, giving you a little thrill of what is to come.
As your partner finishes up in the bathroom, you get yourself changed into something beautiful; perhaps you choose a stunning silk dress, perhaps you're putting on some lace lingerie. Whatever you choose, as you put it on, you feel the light fabric softly graze your skin - and as it settles, a light waft of air teases your nostrils with the clothing's fresh scent; another element you hadn't anticipated.
You spritz the air around you and walk into your perfumed haze; allowing the glorious aroma to rain down on you, before you adorn yourself with your favourite jewels and apply a layer of seductive rouge to your pouting lips. You slide on your stockings and slip into your elegant shoes...
...you ooze sophistication; you are beautiful, because you feel beautiful.
Your partner joins you; he holds you and kisses you and every single moment of his touch rouses your senses; he feels wonderful, he smells incredible, he tastes delicious and he looks amazing. He whispers softly into your ear and you feel your skin ripple with provocation; his voice is everything in this moment. He fulfils every one of your sensual needs.
Your date awaits; set aside at the foot of the bed on the floor are fur blankets, opulent throws and velvet cushions. Atop the blankets are your favourite pieces of crockery, displaying tasty finger foods. A bowl of fruit adds to the wonderful colours that surround you and two glasses filled with wine accompany the bottle that's set aside, masterfully dancing with shadows and twinkling in the light of the flames.
Stepping upon the blankets alerts you to the luxury beneath your feet; soft, sumptuous and tender against your skin. Your partner takes your hand and guides you to the floor; his gentle fingertips graze the palm of your hand as a rush of warm air from the candles sweeps up your legs. He is as attentive to your needs, as you are to his and he looks at you with such adoration as you smile back at him with love.
Your palettes are tickled and tantalised by the feast before you; warm bread with lashings of salty butter, stuffed vine leaves, pitted olives and oily artichokes, leaving your fingers and your lips wetted with lubrication. Cold meat, nibbles of strong cheese and juicy grapes - all washed down with the fine wine in your glasses. A sweet dessert of fleshy figs and seedy pomegranates - plump strawberries and luscious cherries flirt upon your tastebuds as your meal ends; leaving you both with an ease of satisfaction and the need for one another's touch.
For a while, you lie together in the comfort of your blankets, stroking and talking, kissing and admiring; but soon your bed calls and you sink together, gratefully, into the depths of the duvet - the sumptuous fabrics all around you, reminding your skin of their tactile luxury and their titillating intrigue. Your earrings tickle at your neck - adding to the rousing pecks of your partners lips - and the warm flesh of his back delights your fingertips as you stroke him with desire.
Your evening is far from over; in fact, the excitement has only just begun.
And for another night, your bedroom has served its purpose as the sensual and seductive backdrop to your ongoing love story. Thrilling you with it's appearance, relaxing you with its sounds, tempting you with its scent; engaging you with the tastes within and rousing you with its touch.
Your bedroom is designed with your heart and soul in mind; it speaks to your senses and entices your passions. It fulfils your desires, connects you with your loved one and allows you the inspiration to create, explore and experiment together.
Isn't that a wonderful thing?
Engaging the Senses
As you can see, our senses are so important when it comes to design. Nature pleases us so much because it does just that; the smell of flowers and freshly cut grass, the feel of fresh air against our skin, the appearance of blue skies and beautiful flowers - the sounds of running water, buzzing bees and singing birds - and the taste of fruits, growing on trees and in hedges. All of these things engage our senses and show us the very best that the earth has to give us. All organic, bare and unashamedly in its natural form; no spoils or pressure to change what it is - no fears of being seen, or heard, or smelt or touched. Available to all - to taste and to enjoy. Just as we should be in our own private spaces. Just as your sensual bedroom could encourage and support.
If you're struggling to know how you could engage all of your senses with bedroom design, then why not get in touch? I could take your through the steps to creating a truly sensual bedroom where you feel at one with yourself and your partner.
In the meantime, here are a few tips to help you on your way:
Of course, sight is engaged by anything you see when you enter your bedroom; so you want those things to be pleasing to the eye. The colour of your walls, the pattern on your wallpaper, the artwork you hang, the bedding you choose; the accents you use, the accessories you style and every little thing in view should be carefully considered in order to make the very best impression to you and your partner when you walk through the door.
You want your bed to look good enough to get into - whether your day has been long and exhausting, or fun and inspiring - you need to want to get into bed! It's no use having a bed that doesn't entice you into it. If you find yourself laying on the sofa at night, avoiding going to bed because you're more comfortable where you are, then something isn't right. You should be longing for bedtime - no matter the reason!
Layer those fabrics, pile on the cushions, plump your pillows and fluff up your duvet. Spend money on decent bedding, good quality sheets and beautiful accessories. Make your bed something wonderful to look at - make it show you its comfort!
Set up a seating nook in the corner of your bedroom; allow yourself, or your partner a spot to sit, in order to watch the other as they dress, or undress. Sitting in study of one another, so that you can truly appreciate one another's form is a great way of being sensual together.
Alternatively, you could remove sight in order to evoke feelings of pleasure for your partner; blindfolding one another in order to heighten the remaining senses is a great way of building anticipation.
As you will know if you've read my blogs before, I'm not a fan of televisions in the bedroom; I think they're distracting, lazy and ugly. I'm not saying anyone who watches TV in bed is lazy - I'm saying that in a sensual bedroom, the TV is a lazy way of inspiring yourself to have fun with your partner. Yes, some people love adult movies and if that's your kind of thing, then feel free to go with it - but I think there are so many more intimate, interesting and innovative ways to explore your interests and get to know your partner. Talk, touch, listen, watch; find out what your partner is into the old fashioned way. You'll feel more connected with them and you'll be all the closer for it. You'll both make one another feel valued and you'll appreciate one another more for knowing one another deeper.
Having said that, I do think sound is very important for sensuality. Play music when you're in the bedroom; whatever it is that gets your blood pumping, or that relaxes you - play it in the background. I love classical music for a romantic mood; sometimes I love to hear renaissance sounds, Tudor banquet music, 1920s jazz; occasionally a good soundtrack or - as I've recently discovered through my darling new friend, Laura - French jazz.
Maybe you like natural sounds, such as birdsong, heavy rain, or thunder storms. Whatever it is that speaks to you of romance - whatever inspires you, or makes you feel at peace - if it works, it isn't wrong.
Scent elevates us. Whether it be the sweet smell of a bakery, the awakening scent of coffee; the beautiful fragrance from flowers or perfume, or the strong, stirring smell of a masculine cologne - we love to smell something that catches our attention.
Capturing attention is the entire reason we use perfume today; we like to smell good and we like it when other people smell good too. It's a very primal part of us; we smell things to find out if we like them or not - the same way we touch to decide if something feels good enough to buy. Pleasant scent is attractive to us and the better something smells, the more we like it.
So, it makes complete sense to use scent in order to evoke a romantic, sensual atmosphere in the bedroom. Lighting candles, using room sprays, perfumes, pillow sprays, plug-in air fresheners, bathing products, flowers, fruits and foods are all ways in which we can spread scent throughout our romantic spaces. All of these smells create a feeling within us; and depending on the memories and connections to each, they could really assist you in focusing on your partner and the romance between you.
Of course, the natural scent of the one we love is also something to focus on; we don't always need help from artificial sources - but they certainly help with altering emotions and changing atmospheres. Nuzzle into your partner's neck; breathe in the scent of their skin. Really indulge in their personal fragrance; because it is part of what makes them who they are and we really need to appreciate our partner's being.
Taste isn't a sense we automatically think of when we consider our bedrooms, but it should be one of the first things we think about when we consider sensuality. Our mouths are one of the key components in intimacy; we use our mouths to kiss, lick, nibble, verbalise pleasure and to taste when we engage in lovemaking with our partner. We use our mouths to eat and drink when we date, to converse and to laugh, to tease and to tempt; and to focus on and flirt with our lover. Our mouths are essential in the art of seduction.
There are obvious ways you can introduce taste into the bedroom, such as using flavoured body paints from adult toy stores, but there are also other, more classy and timeless ways of doing so, too.
Set up a romantic picnic on your bedroom floor; introduce finger foods which are easy to eat and won't fill you up too much. Pick foods that taste rich and feel decadent; feed one another, allow the juices to run onto your hands a little. Pick out a fine wine to accompany your delightful nibbles and allow yourself to really taste the glory of it. Be careful not to pick out foods which smell too repellent to you or your partner; discuss this - be open, honest and plan it together. Go shopping for this feast together; choose your food and wine with excitement and anticipation of the evening ahead. Enjoy every second.
Introduce fruit into your space; pomegranates and figs have long connections to sexuality, fertility, femininity and love. They're equally tasty, but with differing textures; both sweet and beautiful. Strawberries, cherries and grapes are also good for popping into your partner's mouth and for having a little fun with.
Explore taste within your bedroom.
Touch. The most obvious sense when thinking about intimacy. That first touch of your lover's hand, that electric first kiss; the first feeling of skin-on-skin. It's all so exciting and wonderful.
A simple trace of a fingertip down the neck is enough to have a euphoric effect. Our skin needs touch; it needs the fulfilling power that comes with feeling something pleasant against our flesh. Whether that be somebody else's touch, or the touch of something else entirely, we need physical contact that makes us feel good!
Choosing luxurious fabrics for your bedroom is one way to make your space feel sensual and opulent; lavish yourself in beautiful materials, from your head, to your toes and beyond - to your bed, your windows, your seating, your floors, walls and ceiling. Layer, layer, layer the fabrics around you. Lay within them, cover yourself with them, sit upon them, run them through your fingers; walk on them, dress in them, feel them any which way you desire. Elegant fabrics are one sure way of making your space feel cosy, comfortable, sensual and intimate. Whatever your favourite materials are - use them in abundance, throughout your entire space - wherever there's room and wherever they could enhance the feeling of romance.
It isn't just fabrics though; jewellery and other accessories can also be used for tactile pleasure. How about that feeling I mentioned, when your earrings drop onto your neck and tingle at your senses? Running beads, claw rings, feathers, floggers - your partner's tie, or silk scarf across your skin are all ways of bringing extra elements of touch into your sensual space. Cosy furs, warm breath, candle wax, ice cubes and various other items, or functions can be used to increase tactile play.
Explore touch and pressure, and fill your bedroom with sensual items to please your skin!
What about the Children?
If you don't believe you could ever have a sensual bedroom because you have children and you're worried about how it could affect them, or you really don't believe you have the time to focus on yourself and your partner, because the children need you more, then I've got you!
Firstly, remember that you, your partner and your relationship are important. You've had children; you've been putting them first for however long they've been in your life and you deserve to feel special too. It's probably been months - years even - since you and your partner truly connected one-on-one; you owe it to yourselves and to one another to put some time aside, without your children present to focus on one another and to make one another feel good.
Get yourself a baby-sitter, ask your parents, or your best friend to take them for the night; settle them down early and pray to the angels that they sleep right through - whatever you do, plan ahead, create a 'plan b', and make it your mission to reconnect with your partner.
One mistake we often make - and that I've noticed in married couples with children, I know - is that they assume their partner knows how they feel and what they want. They've forgotten how to communicate; and as a result, they end up disappointed because they didn't get what they hoped for.
When life gets stressful and children take priority, we forget to focus on what else is important. We put our partners second and our relationship is placed on the back-burner. This shouldn't be the case. Remember how you started; remember why you have children, why you're married to your spouse. Remind yourself why you fell in love and how you used to be together, when things were new and exciting. It isn't too late to get that back!
Communicate, clearly and honestly; plan your evening together, take on responsibilities and do your part. Encourage one another to be excited about it; tell one another what you hope to get from this and make an effort to meet your partner's expectations, if you can. If you can't - tell them that and compromise.
Secondly, there are ways of making your bedroom discreetly sensual; whether you opt for simple romantic design or subtle hints of erotica, your bedroom can still speak to you and your partner in a sensual way with careful planning, helpful storage and intelligent design. It needn't be brash or in-your-face sexual.
So, whether you're single, dating, married or married with children - you can have a sensual bedroom. Get in touch; let's make it happen!
And there, we conclude 'The Art of the Sensual Bedroom'; I hope I have inspired you to focus more on your sensual side and to work towards having a sensual bedroom of your own. There's nothing quite like sensual design; it is something we should all strive for - for ourselves and the person we love.
Thank you so much for reading.
Lots of love!
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