Getting Back to Sensuality

Sometimes we all burn out. Life takes over, work gets busy, families face personal troubles, friendships dwindle, or get put on the back-burner; health has it's issues, time flies, months pass by at the blink of an eye... and before you know it, everything you love and everything that makes you who you are, seems lost. We simply run out of the energy we need to keep focus.

This has definitely been something I have found myself thinking about a lot - especially lately.

It starts as just a small delay - the odd post, or meeting that gets put off for some reason or another; just a simple little set-back that gets in the way of us making evening plans, or keeping up with our beloved self-care routine. Those small, insignificant interruptions we just put down to "life". But, if we're not careful to prioritise the things we love the most, these minor interruptions can quickly become major invasions upon the most valuable things that make us... us.

For me, it started when I lost the use of my car; seven months without it meant that I stopped pushing myself to make events, or venture too far away from home. Public transport started to feel too difficult to face, and I started to lose the confidence in myself to meet new people and explore new places.

Then came the closing of my beloved friend Laura's stunning little shop; the place we would all gather to indulge ourselves - with events about beauty, divine feminity, honouring our sexuality and encouraging sensuality into our lives. Where she, Andreina and I would brainstorm our desires for a successful collaboration, combining our individual talents and bringing together all of the things we love, in order to offer one, very special package for our clients. Where we would all dress in our favourite things, play beautiful french jazz, drink wine, smell gorgeous perfumes and explore the erotica of Andreina's boxes and Laura's wardrobes... it was such a magical time and when it was lost, I think we all lost a part of ourselves with it.

After that came some weight gain. Complications caused by a really bad dietitian and even worse advice, which undid all the hard work I had put in following bariatric surgery, to lose a lot of weight and finally become the person I was supposed to be all along. That weight gain caused catastrophic damage to my self-esteem, confidence, self-image and my self-belief. That was definitely the final straw for me, and it had such a huge inpact on so many parts of my life.

But now, three and a half years on, I feel I am beginning to rediscover a place where I want to create, I want to explore and I want to be myself again. I can feel the old desires creeping in; that hankering to immerse myself in lace, listen to sensual deep house music, write poetry about love affairs and seduction, and make the spaces around us feel like the perfect environments in which to indulge, explore and fulfil our innermost desires. Just like I did, back in The Art of the Sensual Bedroom.

Three and a half years on, I can feel myself returning.

Let's hope I continue to bloom...

Lots of love!

Evelyn M

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